36...37...38...

The last few weeks of pregnancy are perhaps the most annoying and most wonderful. I loved them and I hated them at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I loved being pregnant and even at the end I was completely fine with lasting to the 40-week mark. I didn't mind being huge or seeing the scale hit a number that I had never come close to in my entire life. I didn't mind the fact that I couldn't go long distances in the car, or the fact that it was literally one of the hottest summers on record in Boston (thank you, central air). What I minded was not knowing when she would arrive. Yes, is the annoying part of pregnancy that every mother has to deal with.

My last post mentioned how I was told that I could go "any day now" fairly early on. I think it was week 36 or week 37 when I was first told that Ella was basically ready to go. I was 100% effaced and 3cm dilated and my doctor even said, "I'm at the hospital this weekend!" with a smile. And she's conservative. The conservative doctor who never indicates anything that might mean I'm remotely close to delivering said I might see her this weekend. "Oh my God," I thought, "I'm going to be a mom this weekend!"

Nope.

The anticipation was getting to me. Everyone expected me to go early, a week or two at least. They would call or e-mail or post messages on Facebook about when I was going to deliver. My response: "still pregnant." I didn't mind that they were asking, heck, I'd ask me, too. And, I kinda like that they were asking because it meant that they were excited about me delivering. And, that only added to the anticipation. But, my husband will tell you, I'm horrible with surprise. I love them and I absolutely hate them at the same time. I kept waking up every morning wondering if that was the day I was going to become a mom. I kept wondering where I would be when my water would break...or if it would break at all. I will tell you, that freaked me out more than anything. Not knowing then liters of water would come rushing out of you was weird...and scary.

But yes, I was "still pregnant." And I would be pregnant for a while, until that weird and scary moment happened.